Overview:
Family caregivers, like Keith Brown, who has been taking care of his mother with Alzheimer's since 2014, face many challenges, including emotional and physical toll, financial burden, and lack of respite care. According to a report by AARP, family caregivers contribute an estimated $600 billion in unpaid labor, surpassing the US's out-of-pocket spending on healthcare in 2021. Caregivers also need proper training to prevent physical injuries and must take care of themselves in the process of caring for others. Black male caregivers, in particular, face a unique set of challenges due to societal expectations.
Keith Brown, 56, knows firsthand the emotional and physical toll of being a caregiver. Since his mother, Gertrude Jordan, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2014, Brown has learned to navigate the journey with faith and family.
“I call her my ‘new mommy’ because the mommy that I knew for 45 years of my life is no longer the same individual,” said Brown. “I’ve come to love her, nurture her and know her as my new mom.”
Brown, who describes himself as a “mama’s boy,” said the most difficult part of this process has been watching her physical deterioration.
“When I travel out to Los Angeles to visit her every few months, something else has changed,” said Brown. “Her physical abilities have been minimized even more. Her appearance has been minimized, even more. It’s mentally and emotionally taxing to see that.”
Brown emphasized how his family has gotten through this challenging time, by operating as a village for their mom and one another.
Brown shared that in the early days of her diagnosis, family members shared the full-time responsibility of caregiving for his mom with one another.
“She went from home to home, month to month,” said Brown. “She was loved, nurtured and cared for. Between me, my wife and son, and my sister and her family, we were able to share those duties.”
Brown spoke candidly about the weight of caregiving responsibilities, especially the financial burden.
“Mom’s caregiving is extremely expensive,” said Brown. “She does have health care and retirement as an educator of over 40 years, but caregiving is so astronomically expensive now that what she brings in is not enough. It takes both families to support mom financially.”
According to a 2021 report by AARP, family caregivers contribute an estimated $600 billion in unpaid labor. The economic impact of that surpasses the United States’ out-of-pocket spending on health care in 2021.
As his mother’s condition worsened, his sister and brother-in-law stepped in as her primary caregivers. Still, Brown said he makes it a priority to visit regularly and support his family however he can.
“Caregivers all deserve a break,” said Brown. “They have to have that respite time, time to release, relax and restore.”
According to a 2017 survey by the New York City Department for the Aging, at least 1 in 4 of each group of caregivers reported that they need respite care but have not received it. Two of the most prevalent barriers to supportive services for caregivers and their loved ones is a lack of knowledge about what is available and financial limitations.
Jane Barton, founder of Cardinal, highlighted some other challenges caregivers face. Cardinal is a consulting firm that produces educational programs to aid people in confronting the challenges caused by aging, illnesses and disability.
“I’ve met so many people who have engaged this journey and so many that have experienced health care issues because of this journey in the role of caregiver because they failed to take care of themselves in the process of caring for others,” said Barton in a virtual webinar hosted by Colorado State University Extension in 2023. “I’ve also met a myriad of people who’ve had physical injuries because of caring for another person.”
Barton advised caregivers to seek proper training on safely transferring a loved one from bed to chair or consider installing an assistive device to help prevent injuries like strains or back problems.
“There is typically a constant emotion that I sense in caregivers. It’s an undercurrent of grief,” said Barton. “In this journey of caring for someone with a progressive or ultimately terminal condition we are experiencing losses day by day as it leads to the ultimate loss of death. Those need to be recognized and they need to be mourned.”
Brown highlighted the often-overlooked role of Black men in caregiving, emphasizing the unique value they bring to this work and shedding light on what people should understand about Black male caregivers.
“There is a historical narrative that Black men are not loving, not caring and have no emotions, but we do,” said Brown. “Black men are compassionate. Black men are nurturing beings.”
Brown offered guidance and encouragement for his fellow Black male caregivers.
“There needs to be a mindset shift with that narrative that Black men have to be ‘hard’ all the time, because our greatest strength as Black men who are loving caregivers is that we must be willing to be vulnerable,” said Brown. “We have to stop allowing society to dehumanize us and to make us less human, because we were born human, but it takes effort to be humane.”
“We don’t have to be strong all the time,” added Brown. “When someone passes away, the first thing we say is, ‘Be strong.’ No, there are times when we can’t be strong and we have to lean on each other.”
This article by Tashi Mc Queen originally appeared on The AFRO on September 12, 2025.