Let’s do a quick exercise. Think back to a time when you had the boundless energy of an unemployed child, concerned only with making decent grades, the latest Jordans, keeping your Tamagotchi alive, and not forgetting to take the chicken out of the freezer before your mom got home. Go back to a time when your unbridled optimism nurtured fantastical dreams of becoming an NBA player, astronaut, rock star, or an artist. Now, come back to reality. Did you always want to work where you work, doing what you do? Or did your dreams fade with age? Did you become all you wanted to be? Or did you, like so many others, put those dreams to the side because, well, life began to life.
First, let’s establish that there is nothing to be embarrassed about! Sure 98% of us gave up our ambitions of being a rapper – who even early in her career, would’ve probably been on par with Mr. Cole, and would’ve won every grammy available that one year because her album would’ve considered all genres – to sit behind a desk. But it’s life right? Most would probably testify that dreams evolve with age and wide-eyed ambitions of childhood often become more grounded in reality as we experience life – its limitations and its demands. Sometimes, responsibilities like careers, families, and finances can narrow the scope of what seems achievable while the more somber elements of life such as scuffles, struggles and setbacks make it so that dreams have to make way for basic survival. As we age, our focus shifts and the content of dreams themselves changes.
In fact, studies suggest that young people have more dreams about career and academic achievement and success, but as we age, dreams become more reflective of the things we experience, and our dreams begin to shift to focus on relationships, legacy, and loved ones. So, it’s no surprise that, for many, the arrival of a child is the life-changing event that leads to joyous days, sleepless nights, but also, for many, the loss of the dreams parents once held for themselves. The aspiring artist might trade their paintbrush for a pacifier, the globe-trotting adventurer for a minivan, quietly setting that dream on the back burner. For too many, these dreams go untouched once they are laid aside and are forgotten. Years go by and a sense of wonder takes a radiating hold, every so often, piercing the surface to make us wonder, “what if?”
The story of the forgotten dream was an almost constant sentiment amongst parents and chaperones in Orlando, FL last week (April 2024) as Disney pulled from all corners of the country, to the most magical place on Earth, 100 outstanding teens for the annual Dreamers Academy. The Academy, designed to inspire and empower young people, brought together the hand-selected cohort for an immersive experience at Walt Disney World Resort in Florida. Now in its seventeenth year, the program has become famous for broadening students’ career awareness while providing them with resources that can help them achieve their dreams. The exciting and packed itinerary made it so that students were frequently spotted mixing midday coffees and taking floor naps. The Academy included five days of workshops, seminars, talks with celebrities, and park-hopping, of course.
But, while Disney Dreamers Academy is branded and advertised as a program focused on outfitting young people who are still early in the journey of achieving their dreams, the Academy quietly and almost sneakily targeted another cohort, one that in all honesty, probably never saw the transformation that they would undergo coming. The unsuspecting cohort was made up of chaperones. For every student selected for a Dreamers class, one parent or guardian is required to accompany. The entire trip, including airfare, hotel accommodations, and theme park tickets, is covered by Disney for both the student and their parent or guardian.
So here these parents and chaperones are, thinking that the price they have to pay, for what they believe is going to be a nice vacation, is simply a couple hours in “chaperone programing”. What they wouldn’t learned until they’d actually attended their programming sessions was that the Academy was just as much for them as it was for their students. Dallas Weekly, while covering the five Dallas-area Dreamers selected for the 2024 cohort had the opportunity to sit in some of the chaperone sessions, and it became clear, the week was to remind accompanying adults of the things they may have given up – dreams that some had sacrificed for the young people just up the hall.
While swapping dreams for demands isn’t a bad choice, it can certainly be bittersweet. And while some dreams require a temporary backseat, completely abandoning them has also proven to have negative consequences. From the loss of identify (as dreams are often tied to our sense of self), to resentment towards children, and unexplored potential that causes parents to wonder just how far they could’ve gone, abandoned dreams have the potential to cause more quiet harm than their sacrifice outwardly yields.
Amy Blankson, the mother of 2024 Disney Dreamer Christiana Blankson, explained that the Disney Dreamers Academy helped reaffirmed the journey she’d been on for a while, picking up cello again years after shelving her music to raise her three daughters. Amy would explain that while she was proud of her daughter Christian’s dream of being an attorney, she remembered how leading by example was also important for both her and the girls. Amy went on to explain how the chaperone sessions helped her remember that while it’s necessary that parents pour into their children, it’s impossible to pour for an empty cup.
Every parent wants their child to succeed. But when a parent’s (checked) ambition is also on display, it can have a significant impact on a child’s development. Think about all the reasons we fight for representation in media, government, education and countless other industries. One of them is because our ability to imagine ourselves doing something we aspire to do is directly correlated to being exposed to someone, who remind us of ourselves, doing the thing we aspire to do. Ambitious parents can be powerful motivators. They can set an example and aid in instilling a strong work ethic in their children, all while encouraging them to set goals and strive for excellence. Ambitious parents can also increase resilience in children, as parents can expose their children to challenges and setbacks, teaching them by example to navigate difficult experiences. Children raised in ambitious households understand the value of hard work and dedication. This sets them up for success in academic and professional pursuits. All of this fosters a sense of purpose and accomplishment.
Jonathan McClellan, Madison McClellan’s father stated that he’d forgotten that he’d “had dreams that it’s not exactly too late to continue.” Johnathan, outwardly excited for both himself and and daughter, went on to talk about having a “fire” rekindled in him concerning his dreams and how he’d enjoyed “and learned from the Academy” even though he “wasn’t supposed to be learning”. Shiva Gorthi, father of Dreamer Lakshmi Gorthi encouraged other parents to “never stop dreaming” and said he believed he and his wife pursuing their dreams set a great example for his children. Shiva, who was able to sit in a session with Olympian Sanya Richards-Ross and her mother Sharon Ross, mentioned how the duo encourage him and other parents to find a balance between support for their Dreamers and self-care. Shiva went on to say that he made it a point to find something in his day-to-day to enjoy for himself, as not to bottom out juggling all of demands little dreamers come packaged with.
Parental ambition can be a powerful tool for shaping a child’s future. By striking a balance between support and their own ambition, parents can help their children not only achieve success but also develop the resilience and self-confidence to thrive in a complex world. Which is great, because while we can be sure that Gen Z and Gen Alpha will save us all, somebody has to raise these kids, and according to Amy Blankson, “you can’t give your best if you aren’t at your best.”