By Shewanda Riley
Over 30 years ago when I worked as an Administrative Assistant, I had a sign over my work area that read “a diamond is a chunk of coal that made good under pressure.” Part of the reason that I kept this sign for daily inspiration was because I was unfulfilled with my job and needed the assurance that this quote brought that I would ultimately come out a better person. I find myself going back to that quote because of the truth it offers.
Like some of you, I’m often find myself in a position where I am trying to maintain balance in my life while still effectively handling pressure. Much like a piece of coal, there are experiences, good and bad, that are designed to bring pressure to my life. For example, I began 2020 praying to see and hear God in a more intimate way. In 2020, my Daddy died, and I lived and worked most of the year in complete isolation because of the global coronavirus pandemic. What I heard from well-meaning friends and family who saw me living through these chaotic moments and my responses to it, were statements intended to uplift me like “You can handle it…you’re a strong Black woman.” However, my unspoken response was “how much stronger do I need to be?”
A few years ago, I listened to a sermon by Dr. Claudette Copeland in which she was talking about the advantages and disadvantages of being a strong Black woman. She said that pressure makes a man strong…but it makes a woman hard. When I heard the words, I thought about it for a few minutes and agreed with its truth. As women and especially African American women, we are encouraged to be strong in our jobs, churches and families but seemingly are criticized if we become too strong or too independent.
Dr. Copeland’s point was that women do have to sometimes handle situations and experiences that can make us bitter or angry that we had to endure so much with so very little support. Part of the reason why this happens is because in order to handle to pressure emotionally and spiritually, women choose to turn our emotions off, like a faucet, instead of taking the flood of emotions to God. We may even choose to not lean on those that God has placed in our lives for support because we don’t want to “bother them.” But as hard as the situation may be, we must work just as hard that we don’t allow it to make us emotionally inflexible, distant, and dysfunctional.
Even though I wish my Daddy were still alive and that I’d had companionship during the pandemic, those 2020 experiences have made me stronger, wiser, and more valuable. Job 23:10 reminds us about how testing by God is designed to make us stronger: “But he knows the way that I take. When he has tested me, I shall come forth as gold” – Job 23:10. It’s not always easy to do, but we have to remember that God has designed us to be like that little chunk of coal that becomes a more valuable diamond because of the pressure.